Restless
I feel the need to search every media outlet every hour, on the hour, so as to be in control of my surroundings. This is not healthy.
When I feel this way, I find myself eating out of boredom. Seems strange, no? It’s my coping mechanism: chew and check cnn.com. What I need is to unplug and read the Bible. I eat food to feed my soul; I am never satisfied and I never will be until I’m at home with my maker.
(Above was written yesterday around 2pm. Afterward, I just closed the door to my room, laid down, and split open my Bible.)
I was really down on myself: my eating habits, my body, my narcissism and feeling trapped in my own head. I cried out from my soul (silently 
) for him to take me home because I’m so tired of failing him. I feel so trapped in this fallen human shell.
But God is real!! There’s nothing like the feeling when He moves closer to me. I cried out for His help and I felt Him…I read:
“I tell you the truth, this generation (note: or this race) will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.” Matthew 24:34-35
It may not sound revolutionary to you, but I believe that the Bible changes its readers by engaging their minds and working something inside of them. It’s supernatural. That’s how this verse was able to touch my spirit accordingly.
It was such a relief to remember that the things of this world are just that – of this world. They will pass away and God will prevail. Maybe not in my lifetime; but then again the birth pains of the end times are in plain view.
- Earthquake in Chile
- 13 children trampled on their way to a temple, no less
- The oppression of citizens by their governments, leading to death
- Child exploitation for the benefit of big business, in some cases
- The exploitation and mutilation of animals and the planet
I don’t know about you, but these topics get me all worked up. I feel restless and the problems seem bigger than anything you or I could change. How have my 2+ years vegan changed the factory farming business, many ask me (and, honestly, I ask myself at times). I am called to live in accordance with God’s purpose. For me that means veganism and social awareness. I’ll do the best I can and you should do the best that you can.
This world will end. I don’t think it will happen in my lifetime, but possibly within the century. When it does, will you be ready?
Really interesting post. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by the whole of the world and easy to forget who’s in control’ too many things don’t make any sense. It’s nice to be able to do something good for someone else by eating vegan. I agree with your assessment of how the bile changes the reader, nice thoughts.
| Posted 1 year, 11 months agoJust found your blog after reading a comment you left on the Making Love in the Kitchen blog. This post touched me because it is a lot of what I am going through. About a year ago made the switch to plant based diet. Constantly reading and trying to figure out what is ethical and healthy to feed myself, two children, and husband. Only finding more and more questions and realizing how corrupted our food system is and that I can’t afford to feed a family of four entirely ethically. Then I start feeling so narcisstic because I’m spending all this time thinking about what to eat and my health and my size, etc…when I’m a christian and believe that our concerns shouldn’t be so much on “health” in the here and “now.” When I feel overwhelmed I want to just plop in front of the tv and eat, when really I know I should turn to prayer and God’s word. Anyways, long comment. Just nice to know others are going through the same stuff.
| Posted 1 year, 11 months agoHey, Kristin! You are definitely not alone. Though I’m unmarried and have no children, I know plenty who are in your situation. As a Christian, I believe that we’re held accountable for what we know and the actions we take. However, God lived on earth for a time, through Jesus Christ, so he understands the struggles we encounter. He knows that life is one giant catch-22 and we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t.
Do your best. He knows your heart. From your comment I can see that he would be proud
| Posted 1 year, 11 months ago