Sorry for being a real person.
I’m so sick of the media’s concept of beauty. In fact, I’m sick of talking about how everyone is sick of it. When will it change?
I love classic paintings for their celebration of a fertile female body.
But I don’t just want to be fertile, I want to be strong. I want my body to run miles and kick ass.
I’m a firm believer that (within bounds)our bodies will perform what is demanded of them. That’s why I train my body to run longer, faster, and harder three times per week. I power through weight training with my passion for improvement. (To be honest, my weight training isn’t strict or regimented in the slightest! But it’s there, and for now that’s enough.)
My body perception is completely different when I’m living on campus than when I’m back home in my home town, Columbus. There are so many girls who spend their lives working out and watching what they eat (as I do, I suppose) in college that the culture is not necessarily realistic. (Oppositely, unhealthy lifestyles and eating disorders can lead to weight gain in college.)
Do any girls just let their bodies be these days?
Lost in my mind
It’s kind of crazy the places to which my mind can wander. I realize this whilst procrastinating during finals week. Typical.
I have not posted for a while because it is finals week. Although not a particularly heinous one, it is the same beast as the rest. I have one more large article to write, due Friday, before I’m free.
I’m working on it now – literally. My headphones are plugged into my voice recorder so that I can finish transcribing the interview I had with a meteorologist. I have yet to push “play” because it’s just….so…boring.
I turned in a 6-page article today. That was a project that had been going on all quarter so it felt good to pass on my baby of a final draft.
I celebrated the release with a mini run by the river. It only ran a little over one mile because I’m getting sick and I felt so nauseous before I hit my 1.5 mile mark that I had to stop. I haven’t gotten any real physical exercise in since Saturday, so it felt amazing!
Do you ever just let your mind wander? That’s my favorite thing to do. I love to sit and think. I’ve lost so many hours that way. What do I think about? I analyze my way of life, I pray, I assess my surroundings, I think about the future/past, and I make plans. I think about recent social interactions and I try to imagine the way others might perceive me.
What do you think about when you just think?
Vegan Makeup
Baaahh I’m searching veggieboards for makeup recommendations, but it’s so annoying to page through forums. I’m about to run out of the makeup I bought in my pre-vegan life (almost 3 years? yep. Guess I go through it slowly!)but the only two products that I want to replenish soon are eyeliner and mascara. I figure they will be the most challenging when it comes to balancing price and quality too.
What experience do you have with vegan makeup? Have you tried any products and either been satisfied or disappointed? Heard of any good ones? Really, any knowledge is appreciated!!
Week 10
Hello beauties. It has been far too long and I’ve missed this emotional outlet.
water, tea, water, tea...typ.
My life this week has been so chaotic that I’ve cried, laughed, eaten too much, and worked out really hard. I’ve had to jazz myself up on coffee all week. I rarely drink coffee, but when I do (it’s fair trade and organic and)it’s winter quarter; especially week 10/finals week.
Studying journalism gives me the opportunity to experience obscure people and places on campus. Case in point: today’s adventure to Scalia Lab, a meterology lab that’s tucked away on the stop floor the science building. A couple of weeks ago I visited the Islamic Center and sat like a fly on the wall to watch the men pray. I think these experiences make me a more rounded human being as well as one capable of engaging others in intelligent conversation.
A strange trend I’ve noticed in myself is the pre-interview funk. Before I went to the Islamic Center and Scalia Lab I wanted to do ANYTHING other than go meet those I was to interview. I feel comfort zone stretch and it’s hard! But the best interviews I do begin with my wanting to run in the opposite direction from the interviewee.
Inspired by my endorphin high after yesterday’s run -
Things that cause a release of chemicals into my blood stream to make me feel outrageously good about life in general:
1. Intense physical activity
2. Laughing with friends
3. Glasses of red wine with my family
4. That moment reading Bible verses I’ve read a hundred times, but for whatever (supernatural) reason, something inside of me moves and I feel a direct connection to what was written thousands of years ago.
What are things that give you a high?
Threat level
Yellow: (buy on occasion, last a few days) almond butter, honey soy nut butter, Endangered Species 80% cocoa chocolate
Orange: (rarely buy, last one day) pretzel chips, veggie sticks, Soy Dream Peanut Butter Zig Zag/ Mocha Swirl/ Almond Brownie ice cream, carob covered raisins, Alternative Baking Co. cookies
Red: (hope you’re not trying to share. that ain’t happenin.) carob covered almonds, Peanut Butter and Co. products, large packages of cookies, raw date balls
Droolsville. That pint didn't stand a chance.
** Alright, friends, I joke. As I still battle my food demons, I refrain from labeling eats “bad.” This serves as a list of my favorite vegan things!!
If I love something I want to savor it and eat it only on occasion so that it’s a treat, like being a kid and having Mom and Dad regulate desert. Besides, my bank account can’t handle a lifetime supply of almond butter (le sigh).
Restless
I feel the need to search every media outlet every hour, on the hour, so as to be in control of my surroundings. This is not healthy.
When I feel this way, I find myself eating out of boredom. Seems strange, no? It’s my coping mechanism: chew and check cnn.com. What I need is to unplug and read the Bible. I eat food to feed my soul; I am never satisfied and I never will be until I’m at home with my maker.
(Above was written yesterday around 2pm. Afterward, I just closed the door to my room, laid down, and split open my Bible.)
I was really down on myself: my eating habits, my body, my narcissism and feeling trapped in my own head. I cried out from my soul (silently 
) for him to take me home because I’m so tired of failing him. I feel so trapped in this fallen human shell.
But God is real!! There’s nothing like the feeling when He moves closer to me. I cried out for His help and I felt Him…I read:
“I tell you the truth, this generation (note: or this race) will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.” Matthew 24:34-35
It may not sound revolutionary to you, but I believe that the Bible changes its readers by engaging their minds and working something inside of them. It’s supernatural. That’s how this verse was able to touch my spirit accordingly.
It was such a relief to remember that the things of this world are just that – of this world. They will pass away and God will prevail. Maybe not in my lifetime; but then again the birth pains of the end times are in plain view.
- Earthquake in Chile
- 13 children trampled on their way to a temple, no less
- The oppression of citizens by their governments, leading to death
- Child exploitation for the benefit of big business, in some cases
- The exploitation and mutilation of animals and the planet
I don’t know about you, but these topics get me all worked up. I feel restless and the problems seem bigger than anything you or I could change. How have my 2+ years vegan changed the factory farming business, many ask me (and, honestly, I ask myself at times). I am called to live in accordance with God’s purpose. For me that means veganism and social awareness. I’ll do the best I can and you should do the best that you can.
This world will end. I don’t think it will happen in my lifetime, but possibly within the century. When it does, will you be ready?
The monkey on my back
Close but no cigar
Oh, dear friends, I miss the spring.
In Ohio we spend eight months out of the year, November through April, swearing we’ll move somewhere warmer. The other four months romance us with the beauty and complication of the transforming seasons.
Enough. I want out.
Thank God my class was canceled today so I can sit home and get a few things done. Unfortunately, when the clouds shield the sun, my motivation for productivity plummets. My only hope is in liquid motivation – coffee.
My roommate Jane works at the local homeless shelter and as soon as she mentioned their need for the brown brew each of us girls donated the bags of our guilty pleasure from the cabinet. It’s a fine coincidence that my body may profit from the service of others, as I like to avoid chemical stimulants. However, when dire need arises – enter my current conundrum – I pine.
Alas, pomegranate green tea, you boast a lower caffeine content than your sultry surpassor in morning beverage popularity. Your jealousy colors you green but I wish you were a brown bean grind.
Hello world!
I’m in my Computer Assisted Reporting class and the grad students are hosting a tutorial of WordPress. Wow, I’m impressed and I’m officially moving to WordPress!!
Updates on life soon!
